WHY: Is integrity really important?

Dear Wei,

You ask:

"WHY: Is integrity really important?

"I see some companies using Integrity as part of their company's names or company's values. When people are praised by someone "you have high integrity", we are extremely happy, aren't we ? Is integrity really important for individual and for company?

1) Yes
2) No
3) Maybe, depends...

"Thanks in advance for your participation!

"Wei"

"Clarification added 1 day ago:

"I was 'coached' by person A... "Wei, I agree with you that is a wrong decision, however, he is my boss, I just obey what he says." Of course person A granted many promotions within a short period of time, but the company lost many talented people and beyond...

"Clarification added 9 hours ago:

"This question was mentioned by my friend Mark Amtower in his blog this morning http://amtower.typepad.com/epiphany/

I answer as follows:

I tried to put this answer on LinkedIn, but it wouldn’t take it. Too long. So here is my full response:

Imagine a group of eight people sitting around a table, unconsciously across from their chief opponents because, as individuals and as a group, they are dis-integrated individually and dysfunctional interpersonally.

The person seated at the north end is MICHAEL, a fatherly type but stagnant.

On the south is MICHELLE, a motherly type who is more resigned than truly.

To the west is GEORGIA , a middle-aged woman, who has just completed a major project but is somewhat let down as a result.

On the east is GEORGE, a middle-aged man, who has yet to complete his project.

On the north-west is JOANNE , a young woman, who has experienced a recent decrease in attention from the opposite sex.

On the south-east sits JOE, a young man, who is just experiencing the prospects of a bachelor's first courtship.

On the south-west side is ROCKY, a seasoned veteran, who has just scored a major coup.

Across from him is ROXANNE, a seasoned veteran herself but one who continues to endure a major situation: how to help Joe.

Their discussion about integrity might flow like this:

MICHAEL (to Rocky): “I can remember when we were innocent and trusted a man at his word.”

JOE (to George): “Yeah, but how does he explain the ‘youthful follies’ he’s always bragging about.”

ROXANNE: “Talking about bragging, how’s your family, Georgia?”

MICHAEL: “Let’s not get distracted with family. Can’t we at least talk about us and the community sitting at this table instead?”

MICHELLE (to Rocky): ”Well, Georgia heard from Joe today that a stranger named Wei had the audacity to raise the issue of whether integrity is important. Joe said Wei asked him whether he wanted to take a course of action without integrity? Can you believe that?"

MICHAEL (to Joanne): “Everybody better step lightly around this issue. Political correctness and marriage go hand and hand.

GEORGIA: “Here we go again.”

JOANNE: “Somebody got a problem with that? So we’re split. Opposition is good for what ails you, just like doubt.”

ROCKY (To Joe): “It’s a problem of the level of power the weak have in matters of integrity.”

JOE (to Georgia): “Not, really. It’s the importance of wealth.”

GEORGIA: “There are greater things to possess than wealth.”

JOE: “Rocky, your concerns are obstacles easily overcome.”

MICHAEL: “Better retreat, buddy.”

MICHELLE: “Time to contemplate the consequences. Listen to Roxanne.”

ROXANNE: “Maybe we need to allow Joe’s sense of integrity to develop gradually. Do it gradually and his confidence will build up. His sense of integrity will emerge naturally.”

GEORGE (to Joanne): “The pursuit of integrity must be measured.”

MICHELLE: “It's all a matter of approach.”

GEORGIA: “Only progress is important.”

JOANNE: “Maybe we should gather some opinions from Joe’s friends on LinkedIn, but I’d have to flag Roxanne’s answer as soon as she posts it. She irks me a lot.”

GEORGIA (to Michelle): “Can you try to hold the discussion together?”

MICHELLE: “I have my networking army at the ready.”

GEORGIA (to Rocky): “Well, I’m not sure we can bite through that onslaught without Rocky focusing us on our own real agenda concerning integrity.”

GEORGE (to Roxanne): “Going to the ‘well’ again. Deep subjects on the way.”

ROXANNE (to Michael): “There is such a thing as domination by weakness, feigning ignorance for example.”

JOE (to Michael): “ And there’s domination by strength, feigning knowledge, as well.”

ROXANNE: “Either kind of attempt at domination leads only to dissolution not solutions.”

MICHAEL (to George): “Must we endure conflicting opinions, then, inevitably about something as straight forward as integrity?” (to Roxanne): “Must we continuously grant concessions?”

ROCKY (to Michael): “Depends on how many rounds the power of the strong can go, I believe.”

JOANNE (to George): “You all are exhausting me with all of your opinions.”

GEORGE (to Michael): “Perhaps we want to wait for an answer to emerge that brings us together rather than force us further apart.”

JOANNE (to Michael): “I want a breakthrough, not a choice among your pre-determined alternatives or your judgments based on assumptions I don’t agree with.” (to Georgia): “Is that so revolutionary?”

JOE (to Roxanne): “I think it calls for a sense of renewal about what integrity means among each and every one of us.” (To Rocky): “You’re the horse around here. We want to hear it from the horse’s mouth.”

ROCKY (to Joanne): “Integrity is what everyone wants when they, like Joe, are encountering the marrying girl.”

MICHELLE (to Joe): “More modesty from the young bachelor. That’s what I’d like to see.”

JOE (to Georgia): “Hard to be modest when she’s beauty incarnate.” (To Michelle): “So, are you saying you do not want me to marry her without me examining my integrity first?”

MICHELLE (to Georgia): “He doesn’t seem to get it. I’m saying that without integrity, your love is likely being eclipsed by your lust.”

GEORGIA (to Roxanne): “Perhaps he’s willing to sacrifice her integrity.”

MICHELLE (to Rocky): “Then we’re at the final turning point in our conversation.”

ROCKY (to George): “Well, that’s a relief. At least now we know why Wei brought up the question to Joe in the first place. Joe’s the one who really wants the answer.”

JOANNE (to Rocky): “Joe’s all yours now, my friend. He has a lot to learn before getting married.”

MICHELLE (to Roxanne): “We all have room to grow. Striving upwards, right?”

ROCKY (to Michelle): “Now, to raise this young man our village’s task is a matter of executing with the kind of enthusiasm that signals we have reached the right decision. Let’s go, Joe.”

All participants smile.

Georgia’s let down transformed into a sense of attachment to the group.

George no longer fears the abyss of his project having found some friends who will help talk him through it.

Joanne’s recent decrease in attention has been transformed into a sense of serenity about Joe and his courtship.

For the first time Joe‘s courtship is taking on meaning as he is learning how to keep still about it long enough to respect it for what it wants to be.

Rocky is only beginning to deal with the shock of what he is now having to undertake on behalf of the group, and Joe in particular, in coaching the young man about the demands of integrity in his upcoming marriage.

Roxanne’s endurance transforms into a gentle penetration into Joe’s heart.

Michelle’s resignation transformed into eventual receptivity.

By means of his starting the discussion, Michael transformed stagnation into creativity.

In the end, the participants leave shaking hands with their chief supporters because, as individuals and as a group, they are integrated individually and functional interpersonally.

Yes, integrity is very important.

Integrity is at the heart of every individual and every group.

Integrity is what issues challenge and decisions lead to.

Thanks for the opportunity to write on this.

Your friend,

John